Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Whole Story!

This is Jackson with the "whole" story.. Mallory is absolutely right. So much so that I am willing to break my own rule about blogging, and "post" my first ever response to a blog. Yes, I strongly dislike Whole Foods (WF)! I do not even know where to begin. Let's just make a list:
1. Grocery shopping does not bring me joy, so I prefer for it to go quickly. However, it seems WF wants grocery shopping to be an all day affair. I do not think that it is that uncommon for the majority of American households (even Charlottesvillians) to have soft drinks in them. Well, WF feels quite differently. So, the Andrews have to go to another grocery store to get other groceries in addition to the "essentials" from WF. WF is further away from us too and gas isn't exactly cheap.

2. Harris Teeter has the VIC card, Kroger has the PLUS card, while WF makes you buy stupid bags so that you can save a whopping 5 cents per grocery trip. I don't think I have to belabor this one.

3. Is organic really better? No, it's just more expensive. Mallory brought back some organic ketchup one time which was by far the worst thing I have ever tasted. Even she will agree. I just do not understand why anyone would want to pay more for something that doesn't take any different or taste like butt. My family didn't eat organic and Mallory didn't eat organic (at least until high school so I am told). Either way, the doctor says we are both healthy and have turned out just fine.

4. Could WF at least try to make its grocery store a pleasurable experience? Both times I have been in WF I have to push around a rusty, squeeky, nasty cart where I leave being thankful I am up to date on my tetnus shot. Also, is it really that hard to put some flour, eggs, and sugar in an oven and serve cookies to your customers? Answer - NO it isn't. My peeps over at Harris Teeter do every day!

5. And most recently (and most importantly) WF has now driven me to blog...and blog about them, instead of something worth blogging about like motorcycles, guns, or ninjas.

Look, I can respect those who get ripped off by this little organic oasis, it just isn't for me. Like I said before, I do not get joy from grocery trips, but if I have to go I better at least get a cookie! My wife has done an amazing job of managing to have to shop at two grocery stores on our budget. All I ask, is that if I have to go to one of them, please let me go to Harris Teeter - heck, I even will go to Harris Teeter by myself. I know Mallory does not enjoy trips to look at guns, skateboards, or dirt bikes, so I respect that and build my schedule around her not having to go. I have just asked for the same respect.


Anonymous said...

Jackson- I am dying with laughter at your post! haha- such a boy, Jerry feels the same way. Andddd, someone lied to you when they told you that Mallory ate organic foods in high school... i'm pretty sure either we didn't eat or we ate sweet 'chooks and bloomin' onions from outback...but i cannot ever remember eating organic! Marta- this is random, but I am watching FOB right now and I am missing you more than everrr!- Jocelyn

Lindsey Burke said...

Jackson, I applaud you for your bravery in entering the blogging world solo to present us with a post of truth! I read the entire thing out loud to O.E. and we were both howling, especially with your shoutout to ninjas. And I have to back Jocelyn up, I have absolutely NO memory of Mallory ever eating organic food in high school unless like she said the sweet chooks and bloomin' onions from Outback were free range and organic!

Jaime said...

All's I know is my man dropped 60 lbs when I started shopping at the WF. If shopping there helps me avoid buying size 42 Arizona Jeans from "Penny's" , then I reckon it is money well spent.

BTW I refuse to feed Oscar and Grace those hepatitus hockey-puck "cookies" from the Teeter. Nasty!

Mallory said...

I agree with you Jaime about those "cookies". I can practically see the meningitis germs lurking on the handle of the plastic box they sit it. Yuck!! I stay far far away from them.

Polska Photogirl said...

I have to say, I reallly enjoyed this post. I can do either and WF has a great lunch bar and 2 bite brownies, but totally don't get the whole organic thing for the most part. My preference is Harris Teeter. However, down here in High Point, I don't have a choice...its HT or Foodlion (yuck!)

In Poland - who cares? Its all fresh anyway!!

Britt said...

True dat home slice. Way to keep it real with the free cookies from the Teeter. I'm trying to get churches in the area to start using those bad boys for communion. Cookies and Kool-Aid? Jesus would love that mess. MMMM.

Also (and I'm only saying this because you mentioned it), but you can blog about motorcycles, guns, and ninjas on brittbuster anytime you want to.