Wednesday, April 22, 2009

working at home

Now that I am a full time stay at home mom, my role as wife and mother has become my vocation.  This has always been my dream.  In college I did have seasons where I wanted to be in broadcast journalism or be a lawyer, but I always knew that ultimately I wanted to be a mom and stay home with my kids.  Little did I know that God would give me my dream so early.  At 21 I became wife to Jackson and at 22 I became mommy to Parks.  I consider it my biggest honor, privilege, blessing and joy to serve these two men.  

The past few months the Lord has really put homemaking on my heart.  This is funny because right now, we don't actually live in our own home.  We are living with my parents while our house in Charlottesville closes.  Nevertheless, I have really felt a call to honor the Lord in my current role by serving my family as homemaker.  As I have studied Scripture on this topic and listened to some great sermons, I have been encouraged by God's plan for women as homemakers. Titus 2 is a passage that I've been studying lately and it gives very specific instruction to women.  

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.   Titus 2: 3-5

The more I learn about the heart of God, the happier I am being a wife and mom.  I don't feel less significant because I don't have a career, I know that I get to do the most significant job ever: teaching little impressionable hearts to know and love God.  A job with eternal significance!  It has also helped me to really view homemaking as a job.  My contribution to the family is keeping our home running smoothly and efficiently and taking care of our children, just like Jackson's contribution is being the financial breadwinner for us.  Household chores are not my favorite thing to do and staying on top of things can be a real struggle for me at times.  With the Lord's help, I am improving and doing my best to serve our family in the role God has ordained for me.  If you are a mom, be encouraged that you are doing something that is God ordained and worthy of praise!  I know there are many trials and hardships that come with being a mommy but I am convinced there is abundant joy to be had as well.  God is faithful and will help us in whatever he has called us to. 

What has helped or encouraged you in your role as homemaker or future homemaker?



Megan said...

Not a mom yet, but being in the field of early elementary education I often see the opposite of what it's like to have a loving, God-fearing mom to rear her children. The majority of the kids I see won't ever know that love. It is SUCH a gift to be able to stay home and be there for your kids. You are right, it is one of the most honorable things to do in life - train your child to love the Lord and give him a glimpse of what eternity will be like!

lifewiththemorgans said...

I think that this was a very encouraging post. I'm not a mom yet though. I'm an honor graduate from UMiami and for 2.5 years now I have had a full-time salary position job. Heck I'll throw this out there, I make more money than my husband. When we got married, I did a quick 180 from not sure if I even wanted to have kids to wanting to be a homemaker.
I've had several talks with him about what he thinks of me staying home and to my surprise (and happiness) he finds it incredibly important also. We both feel that if a couple has children, then they should raise them. I don't mean to be offensive to anyone who works, but I strongly feel that I am not going to have someone else watch each meal, crawl, step, and word instead of myself. We have been waited and set ourselves up financially so that we will be fine when we have kids.
It's very encouraging to hear that someone else feels this way. When I tell others how I feel, it seems as though I'm justifying why we're building our savings instead of enjoying the money now. I am finding that there is a growing community of educated women who are CHOOSING their CAREER to be a homemaker. That education we have attained will still be used in helping our children with school, having meaningful conversations with others, and so many other areas of life. So thanks for this post and I'm happy that you're enjoying it!

The Vandevers said...

And- as Jason points out it makes sense for the mom to stay home financially. You save money on babysitting and formula (for most women), the 2 most expensive things to buy for babies. Who can better love your child than you?

D:No said...

so how does one balance if you do really want kids, but also love to work...and want a really good career? I'm all for placing the family #1 in front of career, but it's definitely I struggle with since I'm such a career-driven person. I met a lady the other day who works part-time and her husband works part-time, so there is always someone home with their two young kids. I love that idea! But, she's fairly established in her work and can pretty much do whatever she wants because companies want to hire her. I've often thought about working from home, but also homeschooling (since that is very similar to what I want to do in life anyway) and continue to use my skills in voluntary ways or consult here and there. Just some thoughts as I sit up late at night writing my end of semester papers...:)

Kristie said...

I was premed at UVA but switched because I knew I wanted to stay at home with my kids. Now, the hours are long and the work often...less-than-glamorous. When I start feeling like I am "due" some sort of reward or praise I start to get crabby. I have to focus on the first part of that verse, to love my husband and children, and to remember that my reward is in heaven and my worth comes from being a child of God.

It also helps to remember that this is a season. I will have plenty of time to go back to school and pursue other interests when they are bigger and need me less.

Plus, I'm really selfish with my kids. I could never bring myself to give them to someone else. And while missing a meal because you are holding a crying baby stinks, there is nothing sweeter than holding and snuggling a sleeping one.

mallory said...

I loved all your comments!

Megan- I agree, I think society really does benefit as a whole from having mothers who take time to really invest in their children. I would imagine that literacy rates would rise as well and all those early learning things that many children now struggle with.

Life with the morgans- I completely agree with you! It is so worth making the preparations so you can stay home with your little ones. I also appreciate what you said about educated women choosing to make their career at home. I too am a college graduate and do not feel my education was a waste. I think it will be very helpful to me as I raise my children.

The Vandevers- I know! It is so much cheaper to watch your own kids and nurse! :)

Dana- This is a good point, I know lots of women really desire and are gifted in careers outside the home. I think it is something that you and your spouse have to prayer about and seek Scripture on. From my reading, I think the Bible is clear that the woman is to be the primary care taker of the children and the husband should be the primary financial provider. In terms of coming up with an arrangement that works for your family, I think there is some freedom there. I think the most critical thing is being there with your children when they are young and not in school. Once they are in school you have more freedom to pursue a career.

Kristie- Great thoughts! They were encouraging to me. Thank you for sharing! I've missed many a meal in the past couple months but when I'm holding him as he goes to sleep it's all worth it!

Megan said...

It has been such a blessing to me to be home as well. I really loved having my mom home with me growing up and I can't imagine leaving my baby with anyone else all day...I miss him when I am away from him for 30 minutes! I think every person and family is different and needs to do what they believe is best for their family, however we have realized that we would make a lot of sacrifices for me to be able to stay home.
Being a UVA grad its sometimes hard because I think "I didn't do anything with my education". But what could I do that would be more important than raising a child unto the Lord? Plus it makes me really glad I majored in Art History and didn't listen when people said "what are you going to do with that?"...I'm going to teach my baby about art!!!!

ClaireWilliams said...

Hi Mallory! I loved your thoughts on motherhood! Matt and I both feel that IF a mom is able to stay home with the children, it's truly the best for them. We feel strongly about making any sacrafices neccessary in order for me to stay home with Jack and our future children as well. I know there will come a day when I might want to revisit the work world, but for now staying at home with the little man is a dream come true! As for your questions about sharing my green idea post..absolutely! I'm flattered!

ClaireWilliams said...

Oh and I meant to the adorable house pictured, your home in charlottesville?

mallory said...

Thanks Claire! That house is actually not our home in Cville, I just googled white pickett fence b/c I wanted a house for the post haha. Here are pics of our house in Cville

Gillian said...

Mallory I am so glad you posted this! I was raised in a Christian home. My mother is a teacher and my dad works. Though I never felt abandoned by my parents I recently have felt pulled by God to do differently than my parents.

Last November I lost my job. At the time it seemed tragic. I felt like such a failure. Months later I believe I have realized why this happened. I think that God was teaching me that I had to be "okay" with being at home and the importance of being at home. Though I don't have children I now want to stay at home with them when they do come. (A full turn around!!!)

Jaime said...

Amen, siesta. Embrace it, don't hate it. I esteem you and your role! It is hard work, but so worth it.

Did you see Dr. Laura (who I generally like) on Hanity? She has a new book out praising the stay at home mom reality.