Thursday, May 21, 2009

Man's Best Friend?

Parks, meet Savannah.  The world's most unbalanced canine there is.   This dog would make Cesar Milan run for cover.  Savannah's neuroses are in large part due to the fact that her owners (my parents) don't think Savannah is a dog.  They think she is their fifth child.  There is even a large oil painting of Savannah in their house.  Let me give you some examples of her "issues":

- She barks incessantly at any person coming to our house.  
- She refuses to socialize with other dogs and people she does not know.  
- She basically has a small circle of trust and she only lets family and people that have been around a long time into her circle.  If you are not in her circle and try to get friendly, she may give you a nip to tell you to back off. 
- She refuses to be around other dogs so my parents get a mobile doggie groomer lady come to our house to groom her privately.  
- When she gets nervous, she shakes.  I'm talking fully body convulsions.  She does it when music is loud or when she goes on my parent's boat.  She has to take sedatives.  
- When she shakes, my mother carries her around in a sling.  Yes, like a baby sling.  
- She doesn't walk after 9 pm (?!!!) She must be carried.
- If you make her mad, she will "bake a brownie" in your room to teach you a lesson.  

This is just the tip of the iceberg.  I actually tried to submit Savannah for "The Dog Whisperer" show on NatGeo but they only are accepting applicants from Texas and California.  I was seriously disappointed.  Please Cesar, take this special case from Virginia...you won't be sorry! 








7 comments:

Megan said...

Oh my goodness! "Bake a brownie"?! That's the funniest term I've ever heard. Will she seriously do all that? Shall we bring her a cinnamon toasted dog-bone when we visit?

Parks looks so lovable in all those shots. I am so ready to scoop him up!

Megan said...

Hilarious!

On a different note, I am obsessed with Parks' hair! Have you had to trim it at all yet? Its so long and beautiful! Can Noah borrow some?

christa said...

wow - she is a diva! Parks looks adorable!

THE DARLSON'S said...

That dog is NUTS. Wouldn't let it near my baby but I guess you have no choice since you live with the princess dog.

John said...

Mallory, thanks for illuminating me about the "other" family member, the one your parents try to keep hushed up in the media. The love child with the bad teeth. So sad really.

:-)

Grams said...

What a great laugh! I know it is all true but I love the way you can write it. Little Parks is always adorable. Love to you.

Teri said...

Can you say, EXAGGERATION!!! Mallory has blown my little jewels few quirks way out of proportion. Better be careful, Mallory. Some pet owners have been known to leave it all to their beloved and faithful pet. I have to go dust her portrait now, tata!