Tuesday, August 25, 2009

just a stay-at-home mom?


I am disappointed to say that lately I have found myself caving to societal pressure and not being who I really am. Because my dad is running for Congress, I am meeting and greeting lots of new people. Because I am young, the question inevitably comes up "So are you in school or did you graduate?" I say, "Yes, I graduated from UVA." They say, "So, what do you DO?" I say, "I stay at home with our baby." Often times, they don't really know what to say so they just go "Oh...that's nice." And then I feel obligated to say, "But I might go back to work when they're older."

Ugh...why do I say that???

I always leave the conversation mad at myself that I didn't stick to my guns! I do not ever intend on going back to work (unless the Lord has other plans). I firmly believe in staying home to train, educate and love my children and serve my husband full-time. I firmly believe there is immeasurable value in a woman working in the home to create a warm, loving place for her family to be. I firmly believe I do so much more than "stay at home with my baby". That does conjure up the image of staying in my pjs all day with soap opera re-runs on. I want to say to them, "I work full-time in my home creating a place of spiritual, emotional and physical refreshment and rest for my family. This includes cooking nutritious meals, making beds, changing sheets, cleaning, doing laundry, keeping our home in order, caring for our child, training our child, scheduling appointments, maintaining our belongings and keeping our home a place centered on Jesus."

What most moms do is SO much more than "just stay at home". I find myself increasingly dissatisfied with that term. Another option is "home-manager" which I think is better actually but it sounds kind of silly in conversation.

Do you feel like you have to justify your choice to be a home-maker? Do you find it hard to be who you are as a wife and mother in our society?

10 comments:

ashley b. said...

I don't have babies (YET), but when I do, I plan on being a stay at home mom. My mother was and I really think it does make a difference in your child's life! And I can't even imagine all the stuff you have to do because I get stressed just thinking about all the things I need to do when I get home, make dinner, pay bills, call this and that company bc of something,etc....and I work too! Stick to your guns next time someone says anything. Being a stay at home mom is more than a full time job. It's a 24/7 job! You are helping to make our future, and the future of our kids, better!

THE DARLSON'S said...

Hey Mallory,

I like your description of being a stay at home Mom, next time your asked you should just say that! It's great!

I don't feel the pressure in my every day to have a career being an AF Wife. It's normal for you to stay at home with your kids in our sub culture of the military and I feel it's valued more too.

It's almost impossible to move every 2-4 years and have a career. So even though I have friends who are, pharmacists, PA's, nurses, teachers, physcologist most don't work after they have children..... Jackson interested in the Air Force? You would fit right in!

THE DARLSON'S said...

p.s. hows your running going?

Megan said...

My mom's favorite line was always, "I am raising the next generation of leaders"

Gillian said...

I love this post! I even showed it to my husband. Since December I've been a full time housewife. Though I fell into that by accident I LOVE it. I feel this is the place God and Michael wants me to be. I do, however, get lots of strange looks when people ask me what I do. No one is expecting a 22 year old housewife. I definitely hope to be a stay at home mom (and hopefully soon! No news yet though.)

mallory said...

@Megan- I'm totally using that line next time! I love it!

ericandlora said...

Blessed woman. Thank you for this post.

I totally agree.

Kristie said...

I feel the tug-of-war too! I often mention "plans" to get a masters after my children are older and in school while my true plan is to homeschool and maintain our home in order to support my husband. I feel like a reverse feminist! How is it that now women who want to fulfill one of the highest callings God has given us feel so marginalized?

Jaime said...

I think people look surprised because you look way to good to work that hard. :) Stick to your guns siesta! You're amazing. I usually say that I am a domestic goddess who has the "privilege" of being able to stay home with my children.

Mary Elizabeth said...

Amen to this!! This is so encouraging and I couldn't agree more. We need more moms who are committed to their families and who are shooting those godly little arrows of joy into the world.