Thursday, October 1, 2009

weaning: an emotional rollercoaster

I won't be graphic because I think some men might happen to stumble upon my blog every now and then but, I just started weaning Parks and it is seriously sad! I never thought I would feel this way but it's harder than I thought!

My goal all along was to nurse until Parks was one year. Lately, he has had other plans. He started getting so fidgety and impatient when it came to nursing and it became a difficult process instead of what it used to be. It got to the point where one day I offered him a bottle of formula instead and he just happily gulped it down! The next day, I gave him another bottle and he took it without skipping a beat. I thought, "This baby is ready to wean." It kind of took me by surprise since he is only 10 months but I guess 10 months is still a long time to nurse.

I'm so glad that this isn't a difficult process for him and he truly seems ready to take the bottle. It would be heartbreaking if it was difficult for him. But I never anticipated how I would feel. It's not so much the actual "nursing" that I'll's just what the nursing represents. To me, nursing meant I had a baby and now that he won't be nursing anymore, I know that he's quickly becoming a little boy and no longer my baby. I cried last night giving him a bottle! Haha...poor Jackson couldn't quite understand why I was so emotional. I just told him to keep reminding me about all the good things that will come from weaning like making it easier for babysitters, us being able to be out for longer periods of time, maybe even an overnight trip in a few months!! Yeah!! Those are all great things that I will be looking forward to. Sometimes I'm so excited for the new freedom and other times I'm so sad that this chapter in Parks' life is ending. It's an emotional rollercoaster.

I think he will be completely weaned in about 2 more weeks. I tear up just thinking about the last time I will ever nurse him. Did anyone else feel sad when they weaned their baby? Or just complete joy in the newfound freedom?


Megan said...

Weaned a baby, no. But I can relate on the emo-roller coaster. In fact, last night I tried to have a heart to heart with my husband, you know what he said? "You just need to call Mallory. Call Mallory, have a big long talk with her. She'd be good for you." That's right Marta, my husband prescribed you to me. :)

aemeburke said...

Mallory, when Aiden was nursed I returned to work full time when he was 5 months old. Because I was committed to nursing exclusively, I pumped. Babies are lazy by nature so naturally a bottle is easier for them to take. Very quickly after returning to work, Aiden refused the breast (because he had to work to get satisfaction)For the next 6 months (yes, 6 months) I pumped EVERYTHING. I didn't supplement until he was 11 months old and my reverve supply was running low in the freezer. I was happy I committed to 1 year, but was sad when the weaning process began. I know exactly what you are going through. You will find it liberating after it's done. Tip-- cold cabbage leaves will make you feel better (if you catch my drift!) Good luck!

Megan said...

While, like you, part of me is looking forward to the new freedoms of weaning, I am more sad than happy about it. Its crazy how fast this first year is going and like you said it will just be another step away from babyhood. I feel you're pain even though I'm not quite there yet.


Every step AWAY from Mommy is going to be hard for us because it means we aren't needed as much. Can you imagine what dropping them off to kindergarten is going to be like, eeek! But hang in there before you know it there will be another baby on the way that will depend 100% on you again.... enjoy your new found freedom!

ericandlora said...

Gosh, I had never thought of it that way, but it makes sense.

I think, too, there must be a sense of importance that only YOU are able to do this for him (at least I fear I will probably feel that way!), and therefore you have something to offer no one else can. But take heart, you're always the mom - the most important nurturer regardless of whether someone else can give him a bottle or not.