I've spent the past 2 weeks emptying a chamber pot. Literally. Parks is potty training and my days are spent doling out gummi bears and chocolate chips for a job well done and then of course, dealing with the remains. 7, 8, 9 times a day I pick up the pot, dump and clean. G-l-a-m-o-r-o-u-s, right???
In between nursing sessions and the potty training I feel like a servant cow who empties chamber pots for a living. This is my reality. I could get all "I know I will look back on these days and realize how important my job is and blah blah blah" in this post but I won't. I'm just going to discuss reality. And the reality is, I deal with poop, pee and spit up soured milk on the regular.
My sister who I adore and who doesn't have kids, (yet!) came over to my house the other day looking amazing. She is gorgeous and she was all dressed nicely for work in a fabulous dress with her hair done and there I was, the chamber pot maid. Hair dishelved in a messy bun, spit-up stained cotton tank top, khaki shorts and no make-up and I felt disgusting. I felt like Lynette on Desperate Housewives when her husband's co-worker comes over. Don't get me wrong, I'm not jealous of my sister at all, I love her dearly, I just had a moment where I felt sorry for myself. Jackson came home and I just cried about how disgusting I felt and how unimportant my day feels. And then after I got my feelings out, miraculously I felt better. I think that sometimes it's ok and in fact, helpful, to have those moments. I read lots of blogs that applaud motherhood and esteem it for the awesome role that we have as mothers, shaping and training little souls with eternal consequences. That is all true but sometimes it needs to be ok to just have a moment. To have a good cry over the reality that you deal with poop, pee and look disgusting despite your best efforts to look cute and to not have someone give you a lecture about how wonderful motherhood is.
Of course, I believe motherhood is wonderful and great but I truly think there are some things I will not miss and that just aren't fun about the job. The chamber pot days being one of them. So, if you find yourself discouraged in your role as mommy, it's ok to let yourself have a moment. You don't have to act like Suzy Sunshine all the time. Cry, whine and then move on. Each day is a new day with new mercy and a fresh start.
P.S. Potty training is going great this time around and Parks is completely trained at home and we are working on public places and outings. I'd say he's 90% there! Hooray!