Friday, July 22, 2011


It has recently been brought to my attention (ahem...lindsey) that I have unusual feelings about hugs. Apparently, most people love hugging and give hugs away willy nilly. I, on the other hand, am what I like to call a "selective hugger". I will only initiate hugs with certain people at certain times. I think I was born this way. My grandparents tell stories of me as an infant "pushing away" when they would try to hold me close. I never liked to be rocked or held I wanted to be laid down in my crib. To this day I'm not a cuddler or snuggler. I can't sleep if I'm touching Jackson, I like to keep to "my side" of the bed.

All this to say, sometimes I get "hug aniexty" if I know I'm going to be approached with an unwelcome hug. Anybody know what I'm talking about? Family members and close friends are never in this category by the way. I will hug them without any hesitation. However, sometimes I feel like you are in situations where everyone is hugging and you may be faced with hugging someone you don't know very well or don't want to share such close contact with. This is a dilemma because you don't want to seem rude. So you have two choices, you can avoid the hug entirely by positioning yourself far away from the person and get away with just a wave goodbye or you can go in for the side hug, which is also awkward.
Has anyone else ever gone through this mental game? Sometimes I just feel hugs are not a necessary interaction. To me, hugs are a sign of affection for people you know well and have a relationship with. I don't know, I just don't enjoy pressing my body up against someone I don't know very well, especially a man that I don't know very well. I feel it's almost an intrustion on my personal space. I'm trying to think back and I'm pretty sure I've never been tramatized by a hug. I know that since I posted this people are going to come up and give me hugs but I just have to know if there is anyone else who would call themselves a "selective hugger". It's not like I have nightmares about people hugging me, I'd just prefer not to sometimes. Good thing Angelina Jolie shares my feelings. Anybody else...anybody?


esther. said...

I am the very same way. To a T.

mallory said...

I am SO relieved to hear that! Good to know I'm not alone :)

Michelle said...

I definitely have hugaphobia. Like you, I love hugging close friends and family- but that's about it. I have just started keeping my distance in other hugging situations. I probably come off as awkward, but oh well :)

Lindsey Burke said...

I gave someone I didn't know very well a hug last night (I initiated it) and thought of you! :)